deconversion

Forum Feature: What triggered investigating my doubts

June 30, 2008 at 12:01 am deconversion

For my whole life I have shoved my doubts about God’s existence to the back of my mind. There wasn’t a reason to drag them out and investigate them. In fact, there was more reason to keep them shoved to the back. It is much easier to be like everybody else. I wanted to be a Christian and to be on the same page with my husband and family. I love my husband and want to make him happy. Belief in God is what we’ve based our marriage, family and our entire lives on.

Then my 24 yr. old daughter fell in love with an atheist. I love my children more than anything. I want the best for them. My daughter has had her share of downers in her young life. Chronic illness, depression, numerous failures, disappointment in people and especially in boyfriends. This man is everything she has wanted. He is kind, responsible, honest, hard working, treats her wonderfully, encourages her to be her best, and really loves her. We’ve always told our children that the most important thing when looking for a mate is to be sure they are a Christian. The funny thing is that he has better values than most Christian guys she has dated.

At first, my reaction was terror. I live in the South where admitted atheists are a scary oddity. What to do…Should I call all our Christian friends and have a prayer vigil asking God to take this infidel out of my daughter’s life? Do I beg her to break up with him? Do I fear for her soul? Do I grieve for her? Surprisingly, I felt happy and excited for her. What was wrong with me? How could I be happy for her? …

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Entry filed under: ~Other. Tags: christianity, de-conversion, religion.