I found out what is wrong with Christianity: It’s been Feminized!

March 24, 2007 at 1:50 am 23 comments

MaryI was wrong. I’ve been encouraging Christians to be kinder, more compassionate, and more tolerant. I believed that these were traits they should demonstrate. I’ve spoken against misogyny and campaigned for Christians to treat women as equals and for churches to be more “women friendly.”

Then in my nightly reading of blogs, I read the atheist blog, “Pass Me My Bible, Bitch,” by No More Hornets. The blog is in reference to a church for men cleverly named “Church For Men.” I checked out their website and immediately saw the errors of my way.

Here’s what they wrote to women:

Church offers the things women crave: safety, relationships, nurturing, and close-knit community. The rules are: be nice. Be sensitive. Be gentle. We promise a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally.

On the other hand, men need adventure, challenge and risk – but these things are discouraged in church. Change moves at a glacial pace – because it has the potential to hurt people’s feelings. Any man who tries to bring risk into his local congregation will quickly find himself in the gun sights of a longtime member.

Volunteer opportunities in the local church revolve around traditionally feminine roles: childcare, teaching, music, hospitality and cooking. Men who want to serve in church often end up passing out bulletins or attending meetings. Where is the adventure in that?

Men are dying for a leader, but we’ve turned Christ into a lover. Today’s Jesus is sensitive, caring and beautiful. Our praise music has the same breathless feel and romantic lyrics as top-40 love songs. Jesus barked, “Follow Me!” but we’ve softened that; it’s now, “Have a personal relationship with Me.”

You may think that the church is too male-dominated, harsh and legalistic. Some churches are this way – but far more common are comforting churches where the real agenda is making everyone feel loved, accepted, and busy. While there’s nothing wrong with this lineup, it’s not going to get many men out of bed on a Sunday morning.

Men are absenting themselves from church because they cannot function in a feminine environment. We might as well invite men to a baby shower. Men know that church is not for them; that’s why it’s earned a reputation as a place for little old ladies of both genders.

They continued this line of thinking in their section written to the men:

How did Christianity, founded by a man and his 12 male disciples, become the province of women? There is a pattern of feminization in Christianity going back at least 700 years, according to Dr. Leon Podles, author of The Church Impotent: the Feminization of Christianity. But the ball really got rolling in the 1800s. With the dawning of the industrial revolution, large numbers of men sought work in mines, mills and factories, far from home and familiar parish. Women stayed behind, and began remaking the church in their image. The Victorian era saw the rise of church nurseries, Sunday schools, lay choirs, quilting circles, ladies’ teas, soup kitchens, girls’ societies, potluck dinners, etc.

Soon, the very definition of a good Christian had changed: boldness and aggression were out; passivity and receptivity were in. Christians were to be gentle, sensitive and nurturing, focused on home and family rather than accomplishment and career. Believers were not supposed to like sex, tobacco, dancing or other worldly pleasures. The godly were always calm, polite and sociable.This feminine spirituality still dominates our churches. Those of us who grew up in church hardly notice it; we can’t imagine things any other way. But a male visitor detects the feminine spirit the moment he walks in the sanctuary door. He may feel like Tom Sawyer in Aunt Polly’s parlor; he must watch his language, mind his manners and be extra polite. It’s hard for a man to be real in church because he must squeeze himself into this feminine religious mold.

Men, if you’ve felt out of place in church, it’s not your fault. If you’ve tried and failed to get a men’s ministry going in your church, it’s not your fault. If you can’t get your buddies interested in church, it’s not your fault. The church system is getting the results it’s designed to get. Until that system changes – radically – men will continue to perish, both inside and outside our congregations.

Some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. A feminized church? Some guys are happy with church just as it is, and see no need for change. Others are the sensitive type and actually like the macho-deficit. But try to see church through the eyes of a typical guy. It’s intimidating for a man to hold hands in a circle, to cry in public, or to imagine falling deeply in love with another man (even if his name is Jesus).

In other words, the church is too much about being kind, compassionate, and tolerant. Apparently these are feminine traits. The church really isn’t against women. In fact, the church has been “feminized” and men need reclaim church for themselves hence a church for men. GRUNT!

– The de-Convert

Entry filed under: The de-Convert. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

The case against teaching the Bible in public schools Jesus – to be or not to be, that is the question!

23 Comments Add your own

  • 1. George  |  March 24, 2007 at 2:17 am

    GREAT! Now we have a place where we can scratch our balls, fart, eat pizza, drink beer, and watch sports in peace!

  • 2. stellar1  |  March 24, 2007 at 5:29 am

    As if things were not bad enough for women already, some assholes like this have to come along and act like they just came from the Dark Ages.

    Funny, all the time I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist church, I never once saw any man allow a woman to preach from the pulpit. I do remember being taught that I was a daughter of Eve, sinful by nature, and therefore, subjected to all men because of my supposed weaknesses.

    Sounds to me like the person who wrote that content wants to be a barbarian – no manners, no sensitivity to the feelings of others, not even music. Honestly, when I read nonsense like this, it is so difficult to believe we live in the 21st century.

  • 3. The de-Convert  |  March 24, 2007 at 8:47 am

    Actually, it’s not the ladies that “feminized” Christianity. It’s the founders.

    Jesus said:

    Happy are those who are gentle and humble.
    Happy are those who are hungry and thirsty for justice.
    Happy are those who are merciful.
    Happy are those whose hearts are pure.
    Happy are those who work for peace. ( Teachings of Jesus: 1)

    Paul talked about being humble and walking in the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control).

    Why are these feminine qualities?

  • 4. pastorofdisaster  |  March 24, 2007 at 7:16 am

    I’m glad all the women who supported Jesus’ ministry in Luke knew their place. Ahh, if we could just get back to the way it was meant to be. Like it was for Jesus and the disciples……………it would be utopia! Sorry, I got lost in an ecstatic vision of complete maleness.

    So, when did I change into my full camouflage fatigues and paint my toenails pink?

  • 5. j4jesus  |  March 24, 2007 at 7:17 am

    AA, I understand your frustration with all of this and it can be taken too far, but as a Pastor, there is a large grain of truth in it all. Jesus called his followers to go adventurously into a world where doing his work got many of them killed. Childcare and church building projects don’t quite do that and I do believe that men do have a natural need for adventure.

    We somehow forget that while Jesus encouraged tolerance and compassion, he also noted that the coming of his kingdom would bring division and force people to make radical decisions that involved believing and following him or not believing and not following him.

    George, you’ve hit the nail on the head in your comments. Men really do want (and need) churches that stop telling them that being a man is wrong!

  • 6. j4jesus  |  March 24, 2007 at 11:01 am

    They are not feminine qualities, but they are not intended to negate the danger and risk that can be associated with the gospel; nor do they deny some of the essential nature of what it means to be a man. That’s all I’m saying.

    While Jesus also encouraged such a lifestyle, he also called men to decision and leadership and to taking his message to the world. It is a message that flies in the face of most of western culture and much of eastern culture. That makes it dangerous, edgy, and radical.

  • 7. j4jesus  |  March 24, 2007 at 11:02 am

    By the way, my use of “men” above is not intended to be “men” only but both men and women!

  • 8. grizelda3  |  March 24, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    “…Jesus as lover.”
    Jesus loves me, this I know. But he still thinks about other women when we’re doin’ it.


  • 9. rockeast  |  August 9, 2007 at 10:23 am

    do u know one of the gretest reason men allowed the protestant revolution to take place was because they hated the feminized catholic church…but what r we seein today protestant church has allowed itself 2 b feminized!is there any hope 4 the church in future…there is

  • 10. southernbygraceofgod  |  December 21, 2007 at 10:24 pm

    I have been a life long christian and find that things just seem a little…well…girly. From the songs, to the hand holding, a lot of things just seem to lack a connection for men. Is it because so many women are more actively involved in the community (committees, choirs, etc.) and thus unknowingly ‘drive’ things into the feminine aesthetic? I don’t know. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this article.

  • 11. Digital Dame  |  August 3, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    ‘Cause we all know it ain’t really church if you can’t bring your hunting dogs and guns, start fights, slap your bitch around, kill a bear with your bare hands, shotgun beer, give up bathing and all those manly things. I bet that’d bring in all those manly men.

  • 12. The de-Convert  |  August 4, 2008 at 12:13 am

    Check out this post on Seminarian Blog:



  • 13. Digital Dame  |  August 4, 2008 at 12:53 am

    Ok, well, I shot my mouth off over there, guess I’ll wait for the fallout 😉

    Those Promise Keepers (mentioned at that site) frankly scare the hell out of me. Insidious way to put the “little woman” in her place.
    They’re kind of a covert Christian jihad.

  • 14. The de-Convert  |  August 4, 2008 at 12:57 am

    LOL…. Even as a Christian I could not get into Promise Keepers. It’s funny how they cloak misogyny into the concept of “we’re hangin out here for the benefit of our wives.”

  • 15. lifeinthesack  |  August 4, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Hey de-Convert, Thanks for tellin it like it is!! It pisses me off when positive traits are said to be primarily Male-dominated or female-dominated, it keeps us from actualizing our full potential as human beings. We need to quit trying to pigeon-hole each other and accept the fact that social conditioning has way more to do with it than anything. I’m a woman who loves risk and adventure *as well as* being a good person and not trampling over others to get stuff done. I get stuff done through the use of a little thing called tact. ever hear that saying about the bees and the honey? Some of the rest of you might want to think on that…

  • 16. Bruce H  |  October 25, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    the real church has been here all along and its very masculine. its called the catholic church. the men are masculine and the women are feminine. no need to say more. something about the protestant church makes men effeminate and they are beginning to figure it out. Peter sliced the ears off men; he was never a girly man etc… you can be masculine and show love but its in a masculine way; its a soft kinda love in the protestant way. this is a good article learn from it you girly men

  • 17. BigHouse  |  October 25, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Fantastic advertisement for the Catholic church, Bruce!!

  • 18. Eve's Apple  |  October 29, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Oh, the Catholic church is very masculine indeed. So masculine that its clergy prefers BOYS to WOMEN. They prance around preaching abstinence to those of us who aren’t married but meanwhile have their little fun behind the altar. That’s why they want to keep us women out of the club. Well their little game has been found out . . .

  • 19. RevelationWriter  |  January 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    ~ Jesus said,

    The Meek Will Inherit The Earth.

    Not Conquer It. –

  • 20. Jonathan  |  February 5, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    “Jesus said:

    Happy are those who are gentle and humble.
    Happy are those who are hungry and thirsty for justice.
    Happy are those who are merciful.
    Happy are those whose hearts are pure.
    Happy are those who work for peace”

    Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth they little onesagainst the rock Psalms 137.9

  • 21. prairienymph  |  February 5, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    What if men want the freedom to play with babies? They can’t if they want to be ‘men’. Scary men, scared of babies… Do they realize their hypocrisy? Freedom to be who someone else says they should?

    I’m not surprised that the institution that treats women as second class citizens,
    forces them into care-giving roles by denying them access to leadership,
    that shames them for wanting to be fully human the way some men are allowed,
    the institution that helps enforce a stereotype of feminity that depends on women being infantilized,
    that shames women for being adventurous, danger-loving and risk-taking,
    that punishes women for not conforming…

    is now being accused of doing the same to men.

    I want the freedom to fart too. I want to be fully human. I want adventure and meaning.

    There is no room in the fundy church for a woman like that.

    Maybe men forget that unless they are top dog in that type of hierarchy they will be forced to be subservient. And they’ve defined subservience as feminine.

    They are the victims of their own stereotyping.

  • 22. zsmwisdom  |  February 5, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Of COURSE Christian men need their very own church! It’s not enough that their religion sees women as inferior, unclean objects to be owned and disciplined, noooo, they need the warrior part of their poor little over-privileged psyches pampered as well.

    What piffle.

    Just one more example of why religion is bad for women, children and anyone who’s not afraid to think.

  • 23. bob the chef  |  July 18, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    I always feel uneasy reading these kinds of critiques of the Church, not because I don’t think that there is an absence of roles in the Church for lay men. Oh no, I find soup kitchens about as boring as bingo. I worry because it attracts a particular charicature of masculinity, the macho man, or the willfully stupid person who lives by a set of rationalized mediocrity that he tries to sell as virtue or the “real deal”. By legitimizing the macho man, we legitimize a whole host of vices, and purile and loathsome stupidities, insecurities and stereotypes. The shallow, pussywhipped, hotheaded idiot who can’t see the truth himself, a man of poor articulation who parrots mindless slogans that he heard some other aggressive sounding guy say. Real men possess a depth of spirit and intellect that the impulsive machoman cannot hope to possess.

    And for the record, what do earthly pleasures have anything to do with anything? Women like sex as well. To hear you imply that they don’t (by virtue of your quotation) leads me to think that you mindless trod around “in action” as if that farce could ever pass as “masculinty”, like one of those idiot men who is obsessed with cars and dirtbikes and various machinery to a fault. To me, that’s a boy, not a man. Remember, men have been at the forefront of art and literature for all of history. Sensitivity is a trait the saints, men among men, possessed which didn’t mean limp wristedness, but meant a keep awareness of reality and themselves. Aggression conjured in my mind the idea of an unsettled mind, disturbed, weak, not at peace (as opposed to sedated, which is what machomen are). The image is not one I wish proliferated. Truth is the man’s authority, not an aggressive idiotism.

    Getting back, yes, the Church doesn’t appear to have a strong respect for truth anymore.does it appear to challenge the social order and ruffle feathers as necessary. If that’s what you mean, then all is well. The leader here is Christ, but what that does is make each man a leader through him, a brother among brothers, but first and foremost a man of Christ. Men don’t crave a leader in the way you mean it as if that were a “male” trait. I also urge not too talk about accomplishment in the way its being presented because it allows for approval seeking weaklings to latch onto the message. The greatest accomplishment is the work of the soul, not the arrogant, member measuring pride crap we see around ourselves daily.

    I think we should move away from the male/female polemic that feminists routinely use (and oddly enough simultaneously deny). It’s hurtful and dehumanizes men and women and leads to a shallow life where we no longer have meaningful relationships of our choosing. we should instead emphasize truth. The mass should not be either “masculine” or “feminine” but the eucharist, the sacrifice. The Church is not a fraternal organization nor is it a philanthropic socoety. If the social dimension is to be organized by the Church, certainly the parish should consider ways in which to best allow for men and women to serve given their particular qualities and strengths (and yes, women have their own strengths).

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Attention Christian Readers

Just in case you were wondering who we are and why we de-converted.

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Whether or not you believe in God, you should live your life with love, kindness, compassion, mercy and tolerance while trying to make the world a better place. If there is no God, you have lost nothing and will have made a positive impact on those around you. If there is a benevolent God reviewing your life, you will be judged on your actions and not just on your ability to blindly believe in creeds- when there is a significant lack of evidence on how to define God or if he/she even exists.



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